Delayed! Caution! Construction Ahead!

                I've been putting off writing this blog for over a week now...because I have questioned myself and why anyone would want advice or read about a Mom who has felt she's failing...like she's on a speeding train headed for a car on the tracks and can't put on the brakes. No kidding. I've been physically ill this past week from the choices my 2 oldest children are making, ages 11 and 15, and have lost hours of sleep trying to determine what my course of action would be.  I homeschool my kids, and the older two can't seem to focus on anything long enough to complete assignments and don't really care... and are failing their coursework. My younger two boys --ages 6 and 7--are A students, eager to please. 50% success rate certainly isn't stellar. Even more frustrating to me is the fact that they are blatantly disobedient, and get rude when I call them on their behavior. A sin.  The struggle is real, and I am sure many other parents can relate. I want to assure you, that my guidance is based on my successes...AND my failures.  We are all imperfect parents with imperfect children with the same goal:

                Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

                In the whole scope of life (not to mention the greater scheme of existence), our time with our children is fleeting... (although some days I feel like it'll never end).  This short time is so critical to shaping their lives, their beliefs, and their foundation.  Jen Hatmaker points out, "Our children will never be as teachable as they are right now."  Did you know that 85% of all believers choose Jesus before the age of 14?  We have an opportunity to guide them in decision making using the Bible as the go-to book for answers and advice. We have an opportunity to model Christian behavior as parents.  Discipling our children and helping them grow closer in their understanding and relationship with God will never be easier!  (But I didn't say it would be easy....)

                What happens when your loved child rejects your leadership?  Disrespects you?  Battles with you at every turn like it's their job? I often feel like I'm a total failure as a Mom, but this experience of parenting has brought me to my knees in prayer with God. I know that my husband and I can't do it alone.  Praying gives me comfort in God's direction. In the Mean Mom's Guide to Raising Great Kids, by Joanne Kraft, she writes:  "Prayer changes me. It brings me to a place of surrender and peace, ultimately abiding in Him. When I wholly lean on Him, His words abide in me, and what I ask in His will, He promises He will do. (John 15:7). Prayer pulls me in, closer to Him. And when I draw near to Him, He promises to draw near to me (James 4:8)."

                I am up for any task and I firmly believe that God gives you the children you have for a reason (sometimes I wonder what that reason is, and I can't wait for Him to reveal that to me!) I have two of the most defiant, oppositional adopted children.  Like many who don't have a strong foundation of rules and guidance when they are small and are placed into the foster care system, these boys challenge rules and authority like it's their job. They've been diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder; although the diagnosis doesn't make a parent's job easier...it just makes me feel less of a failure.  Some days I feel bound and determined that they aren't going to defeat me...but it's mentally and emotionally exhausting.  Some days, I go to bed with a throbbing headache, feeling like I've survived a rack of torture.  How did raising kids become such an exhausting, stressful experience?

                Some days, I feel like we're making progress. The boys are less combative, less argumentative, and we are able to get through a day's activities relatively drama-free. Other days, every activity brings arguments, talking back, eye-rolling, scorn, and flat-out refusal.  Dr. Dobson reminds us that 74% of strong-willed children rebel in adolescence. Additionally, 3 times as many strong-willed children earn D's and F's in high school than compliant children.   Like many parents, I love my kids and am willing to work hard to help them become the Christian men that I know they can be.  But, like others with strong-willed children, we've tried a myriad of techniques, and there is not an easy fix. 

                I love Joanne Kraft's recipe for modeling and shaping your kids: Model manners. Expect good manners from great kids. Praise your children publicly. Correct them gently, firmly, and consistently. Humans are innately pre-disposed to sin: "For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23.  (Check out more about Mean Mom's Guide at her website: http://joannekraft.com/mean-moms-guide/). Dr.Dobson asserts that "with or without bad associations, children are naturally inclined toward rebellion, selfishness, dishonesty, aggression, exploitation, and greed." So it is our jobs as parents to train, mold, correct, guide, punish, reward, instruct, warn, teach and love our children to help them grow up in the way of the Lord.  I pray every day that maybe, just maybe, some of my instruction and guidance will stick...but only Jesus can make them wholly acceptable through His sacrifice.

                Dr. Dobson recommends attitude, which you can create into a prayer and use your children's names in it: "The Lord gave me this challenging child for a purpose. He wants me to mold and shape [these children] and prepare [them] for a life of service to Him. I'm up to the task. I'm going to make it with the Lord's help."

                Lord, You are such an awesome Father God. I confess that I often feel like a failure when my children are not progressing in their obedience and discipleship. I make many mistakes as a parent. Thank you for the blessings of family and children. Thank you for providing the Bible to help us guide and teach them.  Thank you for entrusting their lives to us to mold and shape for Your Will. Lord, please watch over them and protect them. Use the Holy Spirit, Lord, to guide their decisions and actions. Please give me emotional and mental strength to get through the day and be an effective role model and parent. Lord, please help me be patient and kind, even when it's met with disdain and disobedience. Amen.

So, my key takeaways today are:

1.       Model Christian behavior. Use other Christian role models as positive examples and those who aren't as "what not to do".

2.       Use prayer and Bible reading to guide, comfort, and lift you up.  Pray as a family. Read the Bible as a family.

3.       Expect mistakes and use them as learning opportunities...even if you have to keep teaching the same lesson (eventually it will sink in).

4.       Don't give up! God blessed you and is using you and your skills in a special way!

                Moms and Dads, Keep your courage. Don't panic or be fearful - instead be prayerful. Better days will come...and the ultimate reward will be waiting for you in heaven.

Kella Price Nominated for Military Spouse of the Year

I am nominated for the Military Spouse of the Year. Please vote Tuesday, Jan 21st for me --Voting is 1 day only. Popular vote determines who moves to the next round to be considered for this honor. VOTE TUESDAY!! It's one vote per email address and open to all (you do not need to be affiliated with the military), please vote and enter your email address. They won't sell your address or spam you. Thank you for your vote  for the 2014 Military Spouse of the Year.

Kella Price

When my day started off with morning frustrations with the kids, I couldn't wait to pound the

pavement with a run...a nice long run. (It was going to be a LONG day, I home school the kids). I threw on my running shoes and left, hoping to come back with a clear head, dissipated of the anger and frustration of the morning.

I love my workouts. I could workout 3 hours a day if I had the time. I love the peace and quiet of a workout (I listen to music, but there's not the constant buzz of kids in my ear). I love the focus on something that I can accomplish, literally "cross off my list" for the day. I love the high from the endorphins of a great workout, the strength I get physically and emotionally from my workout. And I certainly can't complain about how it translates to my body and how I look. It's a great stress reliever..

Most of us are busy with "life". It's so easy to get in a rut and eliminate a workout from the day's schedule. However, the stress of home and family life can pull us down.  A nice workout, just you doing your best, is good for your body and your soul.

4 miles later, the frustration of the morning's events are gone, and I'm ready to try again!

Proverbs 31: 17 "She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong."

This Wonder Woman needs her SUPERMAN!

As I conducted my last board meeting as President of the ABWA Verdugo Glen Chapter, I was presented with a vintage Wonder Woman metal poster, and bracelet resembling the bracelet she wore.

The board had presented me with the gifts as a thank you for my service the

incoming President commented, "You ARE Wonder Woman".

I used to love that show: beautiful heroine with not only the beauty but the superpowers too ! A

few years ago, I even dressed up for Halloween as Wonder Woman.

When I got the presents from my Board members, I really appreciated the recognition for my hard work. It’s really difficult to balance the requirements of home and family, work, and volunteer service.

People often remark, "I don't know how you do it..." My most frequent responses are: "I drink a lot of coffee", and "I can rest when my kids go off to college" (12 years from now). Then, someone recently told me when I met them that, while I was nice, that they were intimidated by me. I was shocked! While my schedule could overwhelm anybody, I aspire to

motivate and inspire others, not intimidate them. I am a perfectionist, and definitely push myself to the limit, because that's who I am. I try to present myself as someone's who's put together, polished...even when it's a struggle. The fact is, I'm just a professional and mom, just like so many others. I make mistakes and although I strive for excellence, there are many times I fall short. I struggle to find time to do my workouts (and then feel bad about myself and beat myself up mentally all day when I do),

sometimes get frustrated and yell at my kids (yes, I'm still working on the Fruits of the Spirit--see Galatians 5:22-23) , have been known to drink wine before dinner when my day has been rough, and at times raid the kids candy stash when they've gone to bed (hey, don't judge ;) I know many of

you have done it too).

I am able to persist in my daily schedule (where there is never enough time) because of the

grace of God. I am just as imperfect as anyone else, maybe I just hide it better. But I pray daily

to God to help me teach my children, give me patience, and encouragement so that I don't

become overwhelmed. My hope is that people, especially moms, see me as an encouragement. My favorite Bible verse is "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13). I don't have it all together: the glue that keeps it together is God. There are plenty of challenges in my life; but I want others to see that those are opportunities to overcome, inspiring others and sharing God's grace with those who we come in contact with daily. So, if you have problems or challenges at work or home; know that no problem is too big for God…he’s your Superman!   He has done great things in my life with my marriage, my work, and my children. He can do the same for you…Superman to the rescue!

Ready, Set, GO! ASTD International Conference 2012

As I sit in the LAX airport at some ungodly hour in the morning, I am filled with excitement and anticipation for the conference...some might even call me antsy (and I've refrained from my morning cappuccino)! For many, conferences like ASTD (American Society for Training and Development) are a way to get renergized. I always enjoy reconnecting with old friends, meeting new friends, and learning something new. I have the opportunity to hone my skills and increase my effectiveness. And, since I love to use Twitter, it's an opportunity to connect with my tweeps face-to-face! But, as energized as I start the conference, my energy can wane during the conference for several reasons. Not eating properly (a wine and cheese party is NOT dinner), not sleeping enough (I only see our friends from Sweden once a year, so who can blame me for staying out till 3 am), not sleeping well (my roommate snores!), and not exercising (at least I brought my gym clothes so I wouldn't feel guilty). Does this happen to you? From a conference veteran, I can tell you that the key for staying bright-eyed through the conference is moderation. Plan each of your meals to visit with different groups of friends--this will ensure that you will eat, and be able to maximize your "connection time". If your energy is depleted, go pick up a banana for a quick snack: the potassium will give you a boost. Stepping outside of the Convention Center for some sunshine and fresh air is another way to refresh yourself during a long day full of sessions. A quick 10-20 minute walk outside will give you a boost. Conferences are a great place to connect. If this is your first conference and you don't know anyone, sign up for "Meet to Eat" for dinner. This is a great way to meet others, and the restaurant choices are super. Step out of your comfort zone and walk up to someone you don't know who might be sitting alone during the Expo lunches and introduce yourself. If you're the shy type, an easy opener like "What sessions did you attend today?" or "What did you learn so far today?" can help you start a conversation. Don't forget to exchange business cards with people you meet this week. With all the new connections that I will make, I write a little note on the business card about what I talked to the person about; this helps me recall the conversation for follow-up when I get home. I also encourage you to get linked into the backchannel conversation (all the dialogue and learning on Twitter from the conference sessions). If you don't have a Twitter account, it is easy to set up in just a few minutes. You can search for the official conference hashtag (#ASTD2012) and read all the posts other conference attendees are making. Most importantly, make a commitment to take action from something you learn from the conference. There are so many big ideas and tools to try, focus on 1-3 that you will implement. Reflect on this (waiting at the airport for your flight will give you plenty of time to do so) and create a short action plan. POST IT somewhere that you are going to see it everyday; share your action plan with a colleague or friend to keep you accountable. Enjoy your time at the conference: networking, learning, growing.

Eternal life online? Making your mark on the world online and forever

Shocked. Unbelief. Sad. Honored to have known him.

I lost a friend last week, Terrence Wing. His death was unexpected and, for earthly standards, before his time. It also “hit home” because Terrence was a friend my age, busy with a business and family. He had big plans and was always working hard to make those ideas a reality. Full of energy and life: now suddenly gone.
For some, the call to leave our earthly home brings us eternal life…but human memories fade and our loved ones left behind have only stories, photos, and perhaps a video to remember us. For others, the ability to substantially impact and change the lives of others in a positive way leaves the Earth a better place than when we entered it. With the use of Internet and social media networks, one’s impact can be far-reaching and everlasting. Terrence will have eternal life online, which is where he impacted and influenced so many. Since his passing last week on December 1st, the hashtag #TerrenceWing has appeared in 620 posts on Twitter, and I am certainly not the first to reflect on his impact to my life and the training and development community (several others have focused their blogs this week on Terrence). His mark was made on the learning community as well as a broader audience; a Google search of Terrence Wing results in over 12,000 hits, including: blogs, summaries of some of his presentations, and YouTube videos. Workplace Learning Professionals will continue to learn from these archives for years to come.
Terrence served the training and development community. He worked on the ASTD International Conference Planning Advisory Committee for the past two years. His experience and insight helped identify top presenters and key subject areas for the conference. Linda David said, “His knowledge of social media was a bonus and he freely offered advice and how-to's to all of us on how to leverage these tools.” His love for technology and how it can be used in learning was used as he also served on the ASTD TechKnowledge Conference Planning Advisory Committee, which influences the 2012 conference program. His proposal review and selection responsibilities were Emerging Technologies and Platforms & Tools.

Terrence shared his knowledge and expertise freely with colleagues, both locally and nationally. Terrence first spoke for ASTD at the 2011 TechKnowledge conference on the topic of “Twitter for the Learning Professional.” He also spoke that year at the International Conference on the same topic, as well as offering a preconference workshop on “ISD 2.0: Retooling Instructional Design for a Socialized Workforce.” He was scheduled to speak at both conferences in 2012 on “Navigating the Social Learning Roadmap” and” ISD 2.0: The Fusion of Semantic Tech and ISD.”He also spoke at ASTD chapter events on a range of social media topics. His sharing and collaboration extended to regular #elearnchats on Twitter and JustinTV, writing for eLearning Guild’s Learning Solutions Magazine, and his own blog for LiquidLearn. In more informal settings, Terrence was always willing to share his ideas and opinions with others, and with a smile. His presence and warmth always made you feel at ease; he often mentored others using his charisma and expertise to embody the ideals of ASTD: “making the world better”.

I met Terrence several years ago through my involvement with ASTD. A fellow advocate for social media and its uses in training, we often tweeted back-and-forth about the latest T&D articles or news. We always had something to talk about, and often it was online…even though we both live in the Los Angeles area. With travel, our schedules often conflicted so face-to-face meetings for coffee or lunch were limited.

I was able to collaborate with Terrence on multiple projects, including earlier this year when we both participated virtually via Twitter in a learning event called ("Blend Me") for the Sacramento ASTD Chapter in May. He served on the national committee for Social Media, which I chaired. As a committee member, he helped in the development and execution of our monthly Twitter #ASTDChapters chats, featuring topics relevant to chapter leaders and members of the ASTD community.
As the National Advisors for Chapters, I had the opportunity to work with Terrence through his local chapter of ASTD (Los Angeles), where he was President-Elect. He was a leader who stood up for his beliefs with integrity and respect. He embodied the ideals of “servant leader”. He was always willing to share his expertise about social media, technology, and training to anyone who wanted to learn. His big ideas and zeal for life made him an inspiration to others.

Terrence was honored in a tribute on the #elearnchat, on JustinTV; the archive can be viewed at http://www.justin.tv/relatecorp/b/301949476 . ASTD-LA is accepting comments remembering Terrence on their webpage: http://www.astdla.org/Terrence?mode=MessageList&eid=764240&mlpg=2 Terrence influenced many through his life, and was respected by the learning community as a leader, a visionary, and a friend. You will be missed, Terrence.

Mad dash to learn & change: Social media is keeping it fresh

I am headed to Washington DC this week to speak to learning professionals about social media and how to use it effectively in their strategy. Social media has played a dominant role in how we do business for several years; it’s not a fad with fifteen minutes of fame…Social media has changed forever the way we interact, do business, and socialize. In fact, Americans spend 23% of their time on social networks . Additionally, mobile users increased by 62% in 2011 .
But people are always complaining about changes made to their technology and networks; and it seems that the changes are constant. I just received notice via email this afternoon that Hootsuite acquired Geotoko and is adding functionality to its tools for users, including: improved analytics, added functionality for LinkedIn Company pages, and a new Tweet trending feature via acquisition of “What the Trend”.
Additionally, Facebook seems to be changing all the time. Recent changes incited near riots for many users who were infuriated by the new look and features of Facebook. Status updates are now on the “Ticker Bar” on the right side of your page. Why do people dislike this so? I am glad trivialities that clogged my News Feed, like Farmville posts from friends, are on the Ticker now. Other changes included adding a Polling option, threading comments for multiple posts of the same link, and adding lists to organize your friends (a response to Google+ circles).
Are these truly improvements, or just irritation? Why are we so resistant to change? In a fast-paced world that is constantly in a state of flux, why aren’t we responding more positively to these changes around us? Aren’t we supposed to be flexible? I would expect learning professionals to be receptive to changes, especially as improvements make our actions more efficient or effective.
The changes will continue, so long as there is competition in the market to drive improvements in products and services. It is our role as learning professionals to lead our organizations and keep employees up-to-date about technology and tools that make information sharing and learning easier, more collaborative, and more efficient. As we embrace technology tools, we improve the communication and relationships in our organizations.